I remember a few years back when I was in my darkest place. I was a single "married" woman… You know.. the type that had the title of "married", but did EVERYTHING by themselves. I took the kids to school, got them ready, went to birthday parties, COMPLETELY by myself! Oh yea… All while working a full time job and juggling my under-grad.
But I'm a firm believer that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger :)
During that time in my life, I was a different person.. Not only was I struggling with balancing work and family life… I also battled constant criticism and was abused mentally and emotionally.
Because of the belittling.. I became negative, filled with self doubt, angry, and lost all my self-esteem. And really… All because I ALLOWED myself to! You see, its easy for someone to put you down and slowly strip away at your being everyday.. But when you allow it and tolerate it, You're just as guilty in the process. During that time… I was weak. I put up a wall and found pleasure in other peoples miseries.. Mostly because It took away from mine.
I'm not proud by any means of the person that I was at that time.. In fact, I was very lonely. And although I had my amazing kids and family… I separated myself from everyone. I distanced myself from my family and friends. I found excuses to stay at home.. just so I wouldn't have to be the "single married" person.
When you consume your mind with something, that's EXACTLY what you become! I was buried in so much negativity that I told myself all the things I could NOT do… and so.. I DIDN'T!
But after reflecting on my life.. And realizing that I wasn't happy with the person I had become… I decided to make changes!
I remember when I first watched The Secret by Rhonda Burne. It was as if each person in that Documentary were speaking directly to ME. Granted, I was skeptical at first of the possibility that ANYTHING is possible. I mean… I had dealt with so much up until then. I was in the midst of all the WHY ME's and self doubt. How is that possible to just BELIEVE in something… and it MANIFESTS?! If your not familiar with the Laws of Attraction.. It basically translates to YOU ATTRACT THINGS INTO YOUR LIFE BASED ON YOUR THOUGHTS! OR.. LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE!
It was definitely a hard pill to swallow thinking back to everything that I had been through. But, it was TRUE! I had allowed myself to be mis-treated. I had allowed myself to be talked down to and belittled.
I had to start making changes! First within myself! Before I could fix any of my surrounding situations, I needed to reflect on my behaviors and choices that I had made so that I could correct them.
Here are a few key findings that helped me to invite POSITIVITY in my life.
1. Being at PEACE with the past! First and foremost, ACCEPT the past! This is the most difficult one because without inner peace, we tend to fall into the "WHY ME" phase. And if you spend time thinking about WHY things happened, you will never begin to heal. Now, definitely don't forget what has happened in your past, but learn to accept it. Only then, will you be able to learn how NOT to make the same mistakes.
2. Find GRATITUDE in ALL of your surroundings! Once you have learned to move on from your past, take a look at your surroundings! Everything from the clothes on your back to where you live to the job you have and the people that surround you. Though some of these may not be your ideal circumstances, this will be a very humbling experience for you. Because the clothes you have, may not be designer.. but they cover you and keep you warm. And while the job you have may not be your DREAM job, it provides for your basic needs. You get the point…
3. Give THANKS for EVERYTHING! This was one that I can honestly say I took for granted. Once I opened my eyes everything I had been exposed to.. I was able to truly be thankful for it! And give THANKS for every small detail. I would wake up and write what I was thankful for and before I would go to sleep, I would give thanks for everything throughout my day.
4. Replace WORRY & SELF DOUBT with Positive Affirmations! Its normal to worry and have doubts.. but the problem lies when you dwell on those thoughts. As soon as I would have a negative thought, I immediately would replace this with a positive thought. This is the hardest one to focus on, but re-directing myself back to gratitude always kept me on track.
